There’s a Potty in My Mouth and Everyone’s Invited

While I enjoy a good snigger at a suggestive euphemism, most of the time I prefer my entendres single. Swearing, let’s face it, is awesome. If swear words were cakes, I would eat all the cakes and then say “yum – those were really good cakes. Fucknozzle.” Obviously, you need to take a bit of care with your profanity – there’s no art to just chucking in potty talk as punctuation. A well-placed, well-crafted bit of swearing can lift a simple sentence into a work of poetry.

Fucknozzle.

Since I’m feeling lazy (and since I’ve established precedent with the “my favourite jokes” post), the remainder of this post will be a small sampling of sublime swearing. (Obviously NSFW, unless you’re listening on headphones.)

This is still my favourite 5 Second Film, purely because of the delivery of the last line. (Spoiler: it involves “fuck”.)

Sometimes, you just have to swear. You just have to. There’s no way the punchline at 1:10 would have worked with any other word, and that’s a good thing.

(It’s worth watching the the whole sequence, if not the whole episode. One of the things I love about Snuff Box is its resistance to repeatable catchphrases – I think the only recurring lines of memetic value in the whole series are “whiskey!” and “fuck you.”)

It doesn’t have to be pure vulgarity, though – there’s a lot to be said for creative profanity, as in this example. When a room full of sitcom writers are given the chance to cut loose, it’s a wonder to behold.

And finally, the most pure, the most joyous example of swearing that I know. When Malcolm Tucker chooses to wax Chaucerian, no-one else can come close – the man’s a force of nature.

Divine.

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